Ransomware: Because Who Doesn’t Want to Be Held Hostage by Their Own Files?

You know that feeling when your laptop freezes and you whisper a silent prayer to the tech gods?

Now imagine it wakes back up with a note that says:

“Nice files you got there. Shame if something happened to them.”

That, my friends, is ransomware.

It’s not new. It’s not subtle. And it’s not just your boss or your parents clicking on a shady link anymore (although let’s be honest… it’s still very much that). Ransomware has become one of the most profitable business models in cybercrime and one of the most frustrating threats for everyone from Fortune 500s to grandma’s cookie recipe collection.

Let’s break it down.

🤖 What Is Ransomware?

Ransomware is a type of malicious software that locks your files using encryption. Everything from your work documents to your vacation photos gets scrambled beyond recognition.

Then it hits you with a demand: Pay up or lose everything!

What if someone broke into your house while you were away, changed all the locks, and said you need to pay them in Bitcoin if you want all of your things and access to your house again?

That’s ransomware in a nutshell.

💼 How Does It Work?

There are a few common ways it spreads:

• Phishing emails – The classic “click this invoice” trap

• Drive-by downloads – You visit a compromised site and get infected silently

• Software vulnerabilities – Unpatched apps leave the door wide open

• RDP brute force attacks – Hackers guess weak remote desktop passwords

Once it gets in, ransomware encrypts your files and flashes a ransom note. Sometimes it also copies your data and threatens to publish it unless you pay. This is called double extortion and yes, it’s as gross as it sounds.

🎯 Who Gets Targeted?

Honestly? Everyone.

Purposeful targets:

• Hospitals and schools

• Local governments

• Law firms, media companies, manufacturing plants

• Infrastructure like pipelines and power companies

Accidental targets:

• A small business running Windows 7

• Your aunt’s yoga studio website

• That one guy in your fantasy football league who never updates his laptop

• Anyone caught in a broad phishing campaign

You don’t have to be important. You just have to be unprotected.

📰 Real-World Stories

Let’s start with a personal favorite.

🖨️ The Printer Invasion (2020)

In a ransomware attack straight out of a dark comedy, hackers used networked printers across multiple businesses to spit out physical ransom notes. Yes—actual paper. This story was so wild I covered it in a Between The Hacks blog post back in 2020. The ransom demand printed line by line in bold font on conference room printers, lobby printers, even cash register receipt printers. If it hadn’t been real, it would have been hilarious. (Well… it’s still hilarious.)

🚨 Colonial Pipeline (2021)

Shut down one of the largest fuel pipelines in the U.S. Panic buying and gas shortages followed. They paid over four million dollars.

🏥 Change Healthcare (2024)

Massive ransomware attack disrupted pharmacies and billing systems across the country. Ransom rumored to be over twenty-two million dollars.

🎰 MGM and Caesars (2023)

Hackers used social engineering to gain access. Caesars reportedly paid quietly. MGM didn’t but lost more than $100 million.

💣 NotPetya (2017)

Disguised as ransomware, NotPetya was actually a wiper—designed to destroy, not profit. It started in Ukraine but quickly spread globally, crippling major companies like Maersk, Merck, and FedEx. Damages exceeded ten billion dollars. There was no ransom to pay and no key to recover your data. Just chaos, outages, and a very expensive lesson in global cyber risk.

🛡️ How to Protect Yourself

Good news: you don’t need to be a cybersecurity expert to protect yourself. Most ransomware protection boils down to smart habits and digital hygiene.

✅ Back up your files

Use cloud backups or external drives that are not always connected. If you have clean backups, you can tell ransomware to take a hike.

✅ Keep your software updated

Yes, those annoying popups matter. Patches fix the vulnerabilities ransomware uses to get in.

✅ Don’t click on sketchy stuff

Emails with urgent attachments or links? Think twice. Call the person if it seems fishy.

✅ Use strong passwords and MFA

Especially for email and cloud accounts. Password managers help.

✅ Use security software

Even free antivirus can catch common threats.

✅ Be suspicious

If your “CEO” emails you asking for gift cards, maybe call them first.

🧠 TLDR

Ransomware isn’t going anywhere. It’s big business now. But that doesn’t mean you have to be an easy target. A few smart habits can go a long way.

And if nothing else, please back up your files. You do not want to be explaining to your spouse why you just paid two thousand dollars in crypto to get your wedding photos back.

Stay safe. Stay patched. Share this with someone who could use a little ransomware reality check.